Often, weighing yourself is a big part of having an eating disorder. Sometimes many, many times a day. That number on the scale, and the one inside your pants, comes to drive how you feel, what you do, how you eat, and how you view yourself. Suddenly, that number on the scale seems to be driving everything.
But, it feels reassuring. It feels comforting to know what is happening with that number (though, let's be honest, only as long as it is not going up!). Your eating disorder is reassured by that illusion of control. So, it is hard to let go of the behavior. I have had numerous new patients argue with me that seeing their weight helps, not hurts--mostly because the client is too scared to not know the number. Being weighed by us is often a significant area of stress, and sometimes conflict.
And, of course, this is another area of great debate in the field. Should we show weights or hide weights. Do they hurt, or do they help? And how do you know from patient to patient?
At UCED, we do blind weights, for those with whom we need to do weights. Why? Because we also teach intuitive eating. And, weighing yourself and becoming an intuitive eater are pretty much diametrically opposed (which is why we do not weigh people who are practicing intuitive eating). But why is it so unlikely to work if you both weigh yourself and try to become an intuitive eater? Intuitive eating is based on trusting your body and learning to follow your body's cues. The goal is to eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full, and eat a variety of foods.
Enter, the scale. You jump on that "wonderful" little thing and it gives you a number. What if that number is higher than you want it to be? Chances are you will automatically change your eating behavior to compensate. You will restrict the amount you are eating, or the range of foods you allow yourself. And, as we have covered before, that restricting has a very high chance of then leading you to overeat. And the cycle of disordered eating continues. You are quickly taken right away from from following your body's cues, and intuitive eating has gone out the window.
So, what do we recommend? I highly recommend getting rid of your scale in the most glorious fashion possible. I have had patients confirm that scales don't bounce when dropped from significant heights and they do shatter when hit with another solid object! Send your scale out with a bang! Or, give it to a loved one so they can make it disappear. Take it to your therapist/dietitian/doctor. Or, put it in the garbage yourself, and wave good-bye.
Think of the freedom that can come when your mood and behavior is not dictated by a number on a scale. We are all much more than a number, and the number says absolutely nothing about us as people.