I was talking to a client this week about how she needs to define recovery for herself, independent of what any of the rest of us think. We talked about what her definition of recovery was (
and I tried REALLY HARD to keep my opinion to myself, which was quite a challenge indeed!). In treatment, you likely hear all the time what your therapist, your dietitian, and your physician all think you need to do in order to "achieve recovery." But, reality is, we can all blabber our little heads off about it, and in the end, you will have to decide for yourself how to define when you are recovered and when you no longer need treatment.
So, of course, the question is:
How do you define recovery for yourself?
I love this question!
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time, I viewed recovery as "eating my dinner" (and all the other meals as well). After ten years of eating whatever anyone else put in front of me, that just wasn't enough.
I went inpatient, and while there I defined recovery as "liking myself more than I hate myself" - a vast improvement, but I'm glad I didn't stay there either.
Today, I define recovery as "becoming whole. Accepting all the parts of myself. Loving myself just as I am."
Jen, this is an excellent description of how the definition evolves as you get further in recovery. Awesome.
DeleteThis is hard b/c my behaviors were better for a long time but I'm not sure I was "in recovery" when I first got out of CFC ,.. or treatment the first time around. Then I relapsed. Then, not right after but along the way, I decided I was NOT going to live that way. To be completley frank, and I stand by this today, I decided I'd rather die than live that way forever. So I figured I had nothing to lose at that point. I gave myself one mroe shot. It is taking a long time. I knew that, but for once I wasn't in a rush. I had to depend on MYSELF and really, since I was living alone, the only person I had to be accountable to was myself. But I cared enough to make that happen. I took it slow. I still am. But I have a life. I have a job. I graduated from law school. I have ups and downs, but returning to my ED is not an option anymore. I refuse to take steps backwards. And I haven't.. in 3 years.
ReplyDeleteRecovery for me has been a mix of a lot of things. Life comes first. My ED comes last. I've3 taken a less traditional path, I suppose, but it's worked for me thus far. It took myself a long time to not HATE my body. I remember one day realizing I didn't want to CHANGE it and that seemed... remarkable. I never thought that would happen. I raelized I loved myself. That I'd be okay. It's all been a part of recovery for me.
Katie, I'm intrigued by your statement that you took a less traditional path. I wonder why you see it that way. What you describe sounds like exactly how it goes, if that makes sense. I'm glad to hear you are getting there!
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