Wednesday, September 10, 2014
But, What Do YOU Want?
As you might guess, this is a not uncommon phenomenon with teenagers. Teenagers do not want to be told what to do! At least most of the time... So, being the therapist to a teenager carries the risk of just being the next adult in line to have authority worthy of bucking. And the last thing a therapist wants to create is
a power struggle.
Of course, this can also be applied directly to eating disorders. What does the eating disorder client want more? To be thin? To feel in control? To be numb? To have good relationships? To enjoy life? To have integrity? To be honest?
If you will identify what you truly want, you can then measure your behaviors against that. Is what you are doing in any given moment consistent with your long-term desires? If yes, fantastic! If no, you have to decide whether this means your desire has changed, or something is overriding it. And, you have to distinguish between what you want in that moment, versus in the big picture.
This way, it no longer matters what anyone else wants, and whether you want to follow their direction; it only matters that you are pursuing what you want.